


Keith and Lance don't know how to calculate a tip

by DeetsViBre



Series: Voltdumb, where all of them are idiots [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: I can't believe I am making a series, I hope you all find this funny, M/M, This Is STUPID, based on a youtube video, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 07:10:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11754687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeetsViBre/pseuds/DeetsViBre
Summary: Keith and Lance don't know how to calculate a tip. Its their first date.





	Keith and Lance don't know how to calculate a tip

**Author's Note:**

> When I was a freshmen in college I didn't know what was appropriate for a tip...
> 
> The video this is based on is by Brian Jordan Alvarez

 

It was a new day, and Keith was ready to face it. He had his keys, phone, and most importantly his wallet. He didn’t need a repeat of yesterday. He grabbed his jacket off the back of the couch on the way by, and spied Shiro at the kitchen bar counter.

 

Shiro was decked out in his jogging gear, complete with his phone strapped to his arm, and was drinking his morning shake… Or, Keith thought it was his shake, but on second glance, he realized it was the leftover marinara sauce from last night.

 

Shiro noticed Keith watching, “Oh, hey man. You don’t mind that I snagged your leftover dinner, right?” He sounded guilty.

 

Keith chuckled, uncomfortable. “No, dude. Help yourself.” He felt like he was watching something he shouldn't.

 

Shiro lit up, and smiled. “Cool, thanks bro! Good luck with your date!” He winked.

 

Keith blushed, and scurried out the door. Just being reminded of the date flustered him, how was he supposed to actually survive the ordeal? He hadn’t thought it through when he agreed to a lunch date with the cute boy in his astronomy class.

 

Class moved along slowly, and Keith nervously anticipated the mid day break. Should he approach Lance, or should he wait at the door? Maybe he should wait at his desk, he didn’t want to appear too eager.

 

“Hey, you ready?” A smooth voice asked.

 

Keith jumped, startled. Lance had slipped into the seat next to him, while he had been fretting over what to do.

 

“Uhh, yeah…” Very smooth Keith.

 

They left side by side, and picked a small cafe on main street. They sat outside, talked, and tasted each others food. Keith was surprised by how easy it was to have a conversation with Lance. It was probably because Lance held up more than half of their interactions, but it was still nice.

 

The check came, singular, because Keith had forgotten to ask for the bill to be split. He was prepared to apologize, but Lance plucked the bill off the table, and smirked.

 

“I got this,” He declared, all confidence.

 

Minutes passed, while Lance just stared at the bill. He muttered to himself, and glanced up at Keith a couple of times.

 

“Everything, OK?” Keith asked, hesitantly.

 

Lance looked nervous, “I… don’t know how... how to do this.,” He mumbled.

 

Keith leaned over the table to take a look, “Is it hard?”

 

“I just, I don’t know how…” Lance blushed, embarrassed.

 

Keith looked at the check, he honestly didn’t know how to calculate a tip either, but he wasn’t going to admit that. He pointed at the total, “This is a five, so that means… it’s a five.” That was lame.

 

“Pathagary and theorem!” Lance yelled, panicking.

 

Keith looked closer at the numbers like it would help, “Is this part division? Do we carry the one?” Now he was just making shit up to cover his ass.

 

“You! You over there!” Lance was waving at a small, short haired person with glasses. They looked up from their phone. “Can you help us?!” Lance was obviously desperate.

 

The unnamed person jogged over, and looked at the bill over Lance’s shoulder. On closer inspection, Keith realized the person they called over was a kid, maybe fifteen?

 

“Ummm, do you know how to calculate a tip?” Lance asked.

 

The person adjusted their glasses and squinted at the total on the bill. “Yeah, see these numbers… you uhhh… count the-”

 

“I was thinking we could draw a triangle on it,” Keith blurted, interrupting the kids rambling.

 

The kid looked at him, unamused, “Thats a shape, you need to write an actual number. Like one, or two-”

 

“I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS!” Lance gave into his frustration.

 

“I DON’T KNOW EITHER!” Keith confessed, just as loud.

 

“I’m SORRY! I’m only fifteen!” The kid admitted.

 

The waiter strolled up to their table, “Are you ready for-”

 

NO!!” All three yelled in unison.

 

The waiter backed away with their hands up.

 

They all looked at each other, resigned.

 

“Write a nine?” Lance suggested.

 

Keith and the kid nodded, “Write a nine, anywhere” He agreed.

 

Lance scribbled a nine someplace on the bill, and stood abruptly. “RUN!” He screamed, and then sprinted away.

 

Keith and the kid looked at each other. The kid held out their hand, “I’m Pidge.”

 

Keith took their hand, “Keith,” He replied.

 

With an unspoken agreement, they both took off after Lance.

 


End file.
